[MAY CONTAIN MATURE THEMES]

Heyhey. I draw weird girls, spooky monsters, and weird spooky girl monsters. 25+, ES/EN, Boricua, colonized gal surviving in the imperial core


ohnoproblems
@ohnoproblems
CAPTAIN MISURN — "This is the one." The captain lapses into customary silence. Interrogations are *your* job, lieutenant.

CHILCHUCK — "Make it quick, yeah?" The half-foot is several drinks deep, an adventurer's preferred state. "I don't make a habit of talking to Canaries."

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — I'll have what he's having.

CHILCHUCK — He waits like a pin for your first raking pass.

  1. - "What do you know about necromancy?"
  2. - "I've heard you're organizing adventurers. You can't do that, it tarnishes the divine authority of Her Ethereal Majesty's glorious Elven nation!"
  3. - "I've heard you're organizing adventurers. Do you not trust market forces to set a fair price for sneakthievery?"
  4. - "I've heard you're organizing adventurers. It's a good start, but when do you behead the governor and let the streets run with the blood of shopkeeps and other petty-bourgeois pigs?"
  5. - "I need to gather my party." [Leave.]

YOU — "What do you know about necromancy?"

CHILCHUCK — "Necromancy? You mean the forbidden arts? Dark magic? Officer, why in the hell would I know *anything* about that?"

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] — My liege. 'Tis not just spirits on his breath. Smell it: the savory scent of a *lie.*

EMPATHY [Legendary: Success] — There's a sorrow he's trying to hide.

  1. - "Seems like a useful skill to pick up."
  2. - "She's gone, isn't she?"
  3. - "Let's talk about something else."

YOU — "She's gone, isn't she?"

CHILCHUCK — "What are you...?" His eyes widen - it's just a flicker. He shakes it away. "What are you saying, officer?"

EMPATHY — It's there. Deep in there.

  1. - Wait, how do I know this?
  2. - "I said she's *gone,* isn't she?"
  3. - "Nothing. Never mind."

YOU — Wait, how do I know this?

INLAND EMPIRE — You ask from the bottom of a hole. You already know this.

EMPATHY — A pain you've borne for an age of men, alone. It's there, fresh, in the tiny mirrors of his eyes. He feels it, too.

  1. - "I said she's *gone,* isn't she?"
  2. - "She's gone... and she took the kids."
  3. - "Nothing. Never mind."

YOU — "She's gone... and she took the kids."

CHILCHUCK — He scowls. "You know what? Officer, this interview is over. Any further questions will have to go through a guild representative."

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] — His hands shake around the stein. A liability for a locksmith.

AUTHORITY — Bingo.

New task: Call her.


pet
@pet
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C-Kiri
@C-Kiri

Trawling through old DMs reminded me of an old dream I had like four years ago

I was on some sort of vacation and got introduced to this pair of girlfriends. One was a super tiney smol bean type of 4'10 creature who perpetually looked like a sopping wet cat with a voice about as tiny as you'd expect; the other was more average height, maybe a bit taller than me, dressed in just the most audacious pastel colors imaginable with stripey twintails down to her hips. Generally they were chill and nice to talk to, and at one point one of them mentioned their career in music, where apparently the short one had gotten super popular overseas for inventing an entirely new genre

This musical genre was called 'Instant Death', and it was basically digital samples of death metal with absolutely zero space in between the notes at any point whatsoever, meaning every single beat immediately followed the next. Because of this, the average song length was approximately 17 seconds.

So the taller one told me all about this one time where the two of them were first signing onto a record label, which was trying to convince them to make more traditional-length songs, and how she stood up for her girlfriend by vehemently telling them, "This is a genre with a whole 14 songs in it, and all of them made by this talented girl right here, none of you get to be picky about anything, let alone how instant the death is."

The little one eventually got brave enough to ask me to me sample her latest single, and the sheer indescribable noise was what ultimately woke me up because my brain couldn't process it properly.

And just to be clear: I love them for this. I would die for these two.